Today marks the first six months of my life, without my dad. I miss him terribly.
And the one thing that really hurts, is that my dad knew how lonely I felt at times, always wondering when I was going to meet somebody.
Destined to single till death, I would tell him. And he would tell me very confidently, that no. That I would find that right person, and when I did, it would be forever.
I remember clearly sitting in the hospital chair in Ann Arbor, and my dad had just defied the odds once again. He was drugged up to be sure, but he was dressed in yellow pajamas. And he asked, "Did you come here alone?"
And I said, "Yes, dad. I'm always alone. That's how I roll."
He looked out the window and I can't accurately capture in print the look on his face, but it was one of complete and utter confidence... like he was looking beyond whatever was out the window.
And he said, "It's going to happen. And he clenched his jaw, the way he used to do, when he was mad or making a point.
His face said: It's a done deal.
I miss my champion of all causes... no matter if he was fighting for me to get paid from my job at the car wash or fighting for my heart.
Kelly: as a self-proclaimed expert in love and dating (haha, I woke up delusional this a.m.), I can safely say it only happens when you're not trying or looking...when you go to the grocery store without makeup to pick up beer or you accidentally spill oil all over you at work. Your inner happiness will be shining through, and men are only interested when YOU'RE not.
ReplyDeleteIf that doesn't work, get 9 cats. ;)
On the other hand, I have a great quote from my wise little sister, TQ: "I HATE when people say 'Oh, you'll find someone when you least expect it'. My cliché piece of advice for you is, and I quote (myself): "You will find someone when you're drunk and expecting it the most."
ReplyDelete'Tis a fine piece of writing, Kelly. I happen to agree with your dad.
ReplyDeleteI am sorry that you feel alone but no one who has love in their life is truly alone. You are very loved. honey.
ReplyDeleteIndeed, you are loved. Actually husbands are easy to find when you don't know your self well. (Runaway Bride). I had 3 husbands in less than 10 years before I met Bob. I had taken a break of 15 years to heal up a bit get to know me and prayed: "God, I'm good just the way I am, but if you have someone in mind for me, I'm ready to listen. Reveal that which needs to be revealed." I would get flashes of images that were contrary to my "perfect match" and would say, I can handle that. I once saw only the back of a man's head that hair was thinning. I was 49, sassy, overweight and happy when Bob came to the class reunion in Roscommon, Sept 11,1999. He was open, honest but not a talker. I still need others, but I love him and I am also loved. So, keep the faith and be very clear with the universe, if you indeed want a man in your life. Much love, PQ
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