Colleen and I have this theory that anytime the two of us are together our personalities enmesh- creating Tony's third daughter. I'm not sure her age exactly, but we know that she's not an adult. Poor Rick Collins has had to put Tony's third daughter in check a time or ten. Maybe it was the night she stole the beer he was hiding from his mother in his closet. Or that morning she was searching the house in hot magenta stilettos for her cell phone she had to hide on herself the night prior to keep from drunk dialing- or leaving jokes on Tony's answering machine at four am. (Too bad she only has that one crude beef stroganoff joke for her father's listening pleasure)
That third daughter, once she's had a few bud lights, loves to crack herself up. She has many tactics at executing this task. Wether it be collecting objects from bars to decorate her bedroom with or creating the map to middle earth for a friendly biker to make his way to the Shire. One of her favorite games is to put a twenty dollar bill into the jukebox to only pick the same Toad The Wet Sprocket song for all the other patrons to enjoy for the remainder of their evening.
I am sure Tony is sleeping a little better at night- without the 4 am offensive wake-up calls. And maybe Rick is able to make it through a spanish final knowing his beer is safe-and-sound in his closet. But I know for certain that I miss those nights of the best gut-wrenching laughs I have ever shared with another soul, impulsive tattoos, having the BEST ideas EVER, figuring out the universe in one car trip, passing out with a five pound bag of peanut m&m's between us to wake up with the chocolate evidence written across our faces, Being on the third level of a three story condo to blame "the people up-stairs" for all the noise to security. She may not be the brightest tool in the shed (she loves those sayings of cliches)- but she knows how to have a good time. Even though the other half of the equation is across the world- I hope that third daughter shows up to wish Colleen a Happy Birthday. And maybe take her out for a pecan waffle or two at the ol' house of waffles.
"Floaters in my eyes
Wake up in an hotel roomCigarettes and lies
I am a child, it's too soon"
Tiffany: WOW, you and my mom blew me away! Such great writers, both of you!
ReplyDeleteThat third daughter made a brief appearance - long enough to call in today, the day after my birthday. Rick Collins, Robert and I had nachos and beer. Does it get much better? She wanted to hop in the car, headed towards Denver, and look for her lost boy (what WAS his name?). Thank you for being the sweetest, funniest, greatest sister ever, and next time I am in the gutter, I will definitely sleep tight. :)
I don't get to see ANY of Tony's daughters often enough. But all three of them make me laugh constantly, even from the other side of the country.
ReplyDeletePretty funny material, you're on a roll T-Bird! Generally, I'm in a different state when the third daughter makes the scene, and haven't really gotten to know her as well as I might. As Spock would say, "Fascinating." I really enjoy seeing you on the printed page, Tiffany.
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