One of my aunts* once told Tony that he should always tell people he loved them, in case something were to happen and they died without knowing. This, of course, would lead to many awkward pauses at the end of an otherwise great conversation (should I say it first? Will that cause him to stutter? What if we say it at the same time? Do we skip it? Does it mean less if you say it out of habit or all the time?). I, on the other hand, have a keen sense of awareness when someone loves me, without necessarily feeling a need to articulate it.
*'Ricia, I'm thinking. She has philosophical conversations like a beer drinker, minus the beer.
Bill used to call his kids "honey" to show affection, which is our new code for that old cliche'. The new order ends phone calls and emails with a "bye, honey!", which is a perfect way to tell someone you love them.
We hate cliches and love... honey!
ReplyDeleteWell articulated, honey! The video is a joy and makes me feel like dancing.
ReplyDeleteFor a few years, my dad went through a time, where we'd go to hang up and he'd pause and say, "I love you Kelly."
ReplyDeleteI'd quickly reply: I love you too, dad.
He'd make me do it again, saying, "Now, say it like you mean it."
I meant it, no matter how fast I said it. :)
And in a weird twist of fate, I ended up talking to my dad the day in died. In what would become our final conversation, I honestly don't recall if we exchanged, I love you's. I remember not wanting for once to ask about his doctor's appointment and cancer.
ReplyDeleteSo, we chatted about nothing, while I drove to work.
Love was there... unspoken.
I really pushed that awkward hug too! Some words and gestures, just never fit.
ReplyDeleteAs a junior in HS, I was inspired by Bill Gotshall saying he was "standing on the frontiers of science, pushing back the barriers to knowledge." Bill inspired me to push, probe and pull my family past barriers to articulating feelings and ideas. But, I also put the FUN in dysFUNctional.
Our cousin, Joanne died yesterday without reconciliation with her only family, sister Sharon. Marianne and I were on a road trip when I got the call. Marianne, "That is so sad. Do you think that would ever happen to us? PQ, "Hell no, we insist on telling each other what we think, regardless if they want to hear it or not. If anything, we will talk ourselves to death."
so, honey...we'll just keep bumping along and loving each other the best we can in all different languages. That is what "Speaking in Tongues" means to me. Love, Aunt Richia
I love a long pause from Tony, at the end of the conversation... then I say.. Tony, are we done talking or did you want to say you loved me or something.. he laughs out loud and hangs up... I love that.. EQ
ReplyDeleteDon't despair, PQ - I think the hug really caught on!
ReplyDeleteWow, penguins have never inspired me to dance before. Love the post,when I moved out here in the 70's, lots of my "newage" friends were enthusiastic huggers. I would plot how to leave a party or visit quickly so I wouldn't be trapped by the huggers. Now I'm such a softie,I hug everyone and tell my kids and grandkids how much I love them. If you live long enough you inhabit every mind state!D
ReplyDeleteNice line, D!
ReplyDeleteAnd I think I've "caught" this from "the aunts" as well. I have, on more than one occasion, told someone to "give me a real hug" when they half-ass a one-armed hug. I know I didn't think of that on my own.