As some of you may know, I got a DUI September 11-2010 and went to jail for the second time. I got to see some of the homeboys from high school, and was able to catch them up on current events (mainly about how Obama is keepsin it real), girls, and how the price of steel reserve 211 has gone up. I then realized for the second time how I never want to be back, so I haven't drank and drove since, drank more than like 8 beers at a time, or hollered at any underage girls.
At this time Colleen had been debt free for an ENTIRE WEEK, but being the selfless humanitarian socialist patriot that she is, loaned me $2500 for the best lawyer in town. Court time rolled around so I put on my lucky court shirt and we went. After sitting in the court room nervous for what seemed about 15 minutes, the prosecuting attourney comes out LOOKIN EXTRA FINE!!!!! In my past 3 court expieiences the prosecutors were pale bald slimy looking weasles who sucked at life tryin to hate on a brother. But not this time! CASE DISMISSED!!! Im thinking because I was so nice, cooperative and polite to the cop. No probation, no court fees, no fines, NO NOTHING!!
Colleen and I then proceeded to ask no questions, and speed walked out of the court house before they had the chance to change their minds, making a swift escape in the 2006 Audi A4 2.0 turbo quattro. She then celebrated by drinking a bud light, but I politely refused because I was going to the gym or I would have.
Moral of the story is: keep it real at all times no matter what to the fullest, AND do not drink and drive.
ALSO, TONY PLEASE DO NOT SELL THE 88 GT
SIDE NOTE: SPELLING IS OFF BECAUSE I COULDN'T FIND SPELL CHECK
P.S. THANKS COLLEEN, YOUR PRETTY COOL
Rick... your a lucky man... Your mom deserves a metal for all of her support. Please don't ever do this shit again.. Your aging us all...
ReplyDeleteNope not happening again !
ReplyDeleteSnowball,
ReplyDeleteThis is awesome news. I am so happy for you and Colleen. I can't begin to even imagine the relief you felt when they said dismissed. Just great. I laughed so hard at this post when you described Colleen as being debt free for an ENTIRE WEEK. That and the dismissal - the whole world is just turning crazy in a good way. I like it.
RC Collins: your middle name is Matthew, p.s.
ReplyDeleteAnd not to be a stickler for details, but your DUI arrest was labor day weekend (Sept 5-6). Getting the crap beat out of you by 6 guys in Statesboro, GA was Sept 11.
I wore my lucky ulcers to court, and that's what got you off...
the selfless humanitarian socialist patriot - aka- flash-dance-sister-pants. Is the exact
ReplyDeletenickname Colleen has been needing in her life. It's short and sweet and sums up all of her
quality attributes. RC Collins- keeps it gangster under ALL circumstances! and I laughed so
hard reading this... it brought actual tears to my eyes.
PS. "sitting in the court room nervous for what seemed about 15 minutes" great material.
fifteen minutes is fourteen too long to be waiting in a courtroom... I can imagine the anxiety
levels.
PPS. Please keep writing!
I had to re-read this and start my day with a laugh: "I then realized for the second time how I never want to be back (in jail)" then later how you politely refused a beer.
ReplyDeleteYou're a funny kid, Vladimir!
Wow....great break for some great people. Way to keep it real Pocket :)
ReplyDeleteGreat to see you here, Vladimer! Fine piece of writing. I'll place the '88 under a restraining order for any pending sale.
ReplyDeleteYou are a nut. Love ya.
ReplyDeletethanks for all the support Q's!!!!
ReplyDeleteRC, I'm a little slow on the draw with the Q support. Love your courtroom drama tale. Really, RC do you need another alias if you are giving up drinking, driving, shouting at underage girls and a life of crime? Vladimer is my current favorite, but I'll call you anything you want, cause I love you and the way you keep it real. You also continue to demonstrate a quick wit and intelligent beautiful mind. I especially like how you kept your mouth shut after you paid the big bugs for mouth piece, Colleen, you've got some lucky ulcers. Aunt Ricia
ReplyDeleteLife is about living...it seems to me that you are intent on doing just that. Good for you...and yes, it may be a good plan to stop shouting at underage girls!
ReplyDelete