Caddy Shack

Written Sep 15, 2011 9:01am

 I have to go all the way back to 1980 for this story...

My brothers and I got jobs as caddies at Orchard Lake Country Club down in Oakland county.

I was pretty focused on the gig, carrying as many bags as I could, and working towards buying a new Mongoose BMX bike. It took only a few months, and I was promoted to Honor Caddy, which allowed me some freedoms, and big tips that many others could only dream about. Patrick was not all that impressed, and enjoyed his B caddy status. Most of his days were spent at the caddy shack (not on the course!). He was our comedic relief, and was constantly involved in some sort of caddy mischief. Our Caddy Master was a guy named Kirk Heart. He was a complete ass in every sense of the word. Obviously he and Patrick had very different goals for Patrick!

Caddy "golf day" every Monday was huge in terms of fun, as we had the entire course to ourselves. Patrick, not being a golfer (and barely a caddy!), remained pretty uninvolved. I made the mistake of golfing with a caddy buddy of mine who had been suspended for "un-caddy like behavior". Upon hearing the news on the following Tuesday morning, I was fired. At 15 and desperately devoted to overachieving, I was absolutely crushed. I went back to the Caddy Shack, and reported the news to Patrick. I remember the look in his eyes, and saw it years later in the eyes of William Wallace in the movie Brave Heart. There were about 20-30 guys sitting around us in the shack, all waiting for our absolutely fearless leader to make his decision. As tears welled up in my eyes,  fire welled up in Patrick's heart. Two fist pounds on the table later, he started his walk down the hill towards Kirk Heart, in the Caddy Master shack. We followed. Patrick out front, and an even larger crowd growing behind him.

A small part of me wanted to warn Kirk of what was coming, but this was truly out of my hands, and firmly in Patrick's. As Kirk stepped out of that little box he worked in, I remember him looking so small and insignificant. From Caddy Master to weasel in an instant.

As we all stood in awe, we listened to Patrick verbally destroy him (he had obviously been practicing his cussing intertwined with anatomy), his attack was both relentless and brilliant. This culminated in approximately 40 of us CHEERING AND CLAPPING WILDLY!!!!!!!!

As the dust settled, William Patrick Wallace Quinlan walked slowly into the sunrise. Now jobless, without any money in his pocket, but oh so wealthy with principle, integrity and glory.

I was completely amazed by his fearless leadership that morning. I still am.

I shook his hand as he walked out of the Caddy Shack, I could not thank him enough for defending his brother in such fine fashion. 

Of course, I waited about 15 minutes before I walked down the hill and begged Kirk for my job back.

Looking back now, I think they had those caddy rankings all out of whack. Oh, we did have an Honor Caddy in the family, but it wasn't me.

love, B-caddy

Brian Quinlan